


What has no hands, but grips you tight?

by Lyrae_Immortalis



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: (in a way), Altered Mental States, Altered Reality, Banter could be seen as flirting, Blood, Chapter 1 Tags, Chapter 2 tags, Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Crane stalks after him, Domestic Fluff, Dreamscapes, Ed Does Research on Scarecrow, Ed and Oswald are the cutest, Ed gets lost, Ed is a jealous ass, Evil Laughter, Fear, Future Fic, Hallucinations, Happy Ending, He isn't too happy about it (he is), I had to pry the scriddler boys apart, Iceberg Lounge, M/M, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Oswald loves it, Oswald orders Ed about a lot, Past Child Abuse, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma (poor Ed), Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Reanimated Corpse, Riddles (only one), Scared Ed, The second chapter isn't too kind on that front, Villains, Violence, Visions, and their villain dynamic is a lot of fun, fear toxin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-15 15:39:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11234031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrae_Immortalis/pseuds/Lyrae_Immortalis
Summary: Ed gets a call from Oswald and is tasked with finding out who the new masked villain in town is. A man named 'The Scarecrow' has been terrorising the city, leaving the underworld in a state of disarray. After working tirelessly, Ed tracks down Jonathan Crane and confronts him in his psychologist office. Despite Oswald warning Ed to be careful, Ed chooses to provoke Crane resulting in his worst nightmares quickly becoming his reality.





	1. A Task to Remember

**Author's Note:**

> After I heard the rumor of Crane returning to Gotham in season 4, I couldn't help but think that maybe this is how we find out about Ed's background. The idea would not leave me alone so here we are. The first chapter is nothing but fun, I laughed so much writing it but please heed the tags before reading chapter 2.

_ Bzzz bzzz Bzzz bzzz _

 

Ed looked down at his phone and saw Oswald number flashing for the second time in five minutes. There was no avoiding this then. With a roll of his eyes, he flicked his phone open and put it to his ear.

 

“Hel--”

 

“Ed, I need you at Iceberg Lounge. Now!” The voice sounded through the receiver so forcefully, Ed almost dropped the phone out of sheer shock. 

 

“ _ Now? _ ” Ed questioned as he threw his empty hand up in the air.  _ What the hell was going on? Oswald knew he was busy today. _ “I just saw you this morning, can’t this wait?”

 

“If it could wait then I wouldn’t be ringing you now, would I?”

 

“You know this is really inconveniencing me. I orchestrated this heist over a week ago, _you_ _helped me_ and now you’re forcing me to abandon my plans.” Ed huffed and kicked the bundle of ropes at his feet with a scowl etched on his face. He’d like to say this was the first time it had happened but frankly Oswald interrupted his schemes far too often with his numerous demands and orders.

 

“Well I’m  _ sorry _ , that our safety has been compromised again,” Oswald snapped. In the background Ed could hear the faint tinkling of ice cubes in Oswald’s glass before the inevitable crash as he slammed it on his desk. He was certainly in a mood, there was no denying that. Ed knew him too well to be convinced of anything less.

 

“I’ll be there soon, Oswald,” Ed said as he made his way out of the warehouse, abandoning his heist yet again, “but you owe me big time.”

 

“I expected as much. See you shortly, Ed.”

 

~~~

 

“So what’s the problem?” Ed asked as he threw the double doors open and strolled into Oswald’s office, tossing his cane and hat onto the couch before perching himself on the edge of Oswald’s desk. “This  _ better _ be good.”

 

“We have a new villain in town, he calls himself  _ “The Scarecrow.” _ Oswald grimaced as he air quoted the word, the gesture elicited a small chuckle from Ed before the narrowing of green eyes silenced him. “As far as monikers go, there are  _ much _ better options available.” Ed bit his tongue to save himself from commenting on Oswald’s own villainous name although he knew what that would bring. He had suffered enough digs as his own  _ uncreative  _ choice to dissuade any future rebuttal. 

 

“Oswald,” Ed sighed with an overdramatic roll of his eyes as he plucked Oswald’s beverage from his hand and took a large gulp, “it’s a new villain. Invite him for drinks and get a read on him. I hardly see  _ this  _ as a state of emergency.” It certainly wasn’t as dire situation as Oswald made it seem. Ed’s heist would have only taken three hours, this… nonsense could have waited.

 

“Don’t you think I would have tried that before calling you in. Here look at this.” Oswald said as he snatched his drink back before turning on the tv. A short security tape began playing, repeating over and over again every 33 seconds. Two men, one in a suit, Oswald’s henchman, another in  _ rags  _ and a distasteful mask. Ed frowned, it was blasé at best, certainly nothing like his own choice but it definitely made an impact. 

 

“Is that…?”

 

“Monroe, yes. Whatever Scarecrow did to him.. look, right here.” Oswald paused the video and rewound it a smidge before pressing play again. “See how he collapsed barely five seconds after being dosed with the gas? Whatever that stuff is, it’s dangerous. So far it’s been four hours and Monroe is still screaming.”

 

“I’d like to say I care, but I don’t.” Ed said as he ran a finger down Oswald’s chest. “Monroe was getting far too close with you.” 

 

“Curb your jealousy, Edward. This isn’t the time.” Ed nodded but he couldn’t keep the growing smile off his face, especially after witnessing the corners of Oswald’s mouth twitch into a smirk. Oh yes, the Penguin undoubtedly knew the effect he was having whenever he chose his henchmen. 

 

“So I’m guessing your peaceful offer was denied.”

 

“Quite forcefully, it would seem.

 

With pinched brows, Ed snatched the remote from Oswald’s hand and ignored his squawking protests. It wasn’t like they didn’t fight over it most days, Oswald would get over it and if he didn't, Ed would have to play sweet until he did. Jumping down off the desk, Ed slowed the tape to half speed and tapped his chin as he analyzed the man called Scarecrow. He was tall and thin, even beneath his ragged clothes Ed could piece that together that much. It was a little too similar to his own body structure to go unnoticed. He didn’t hold the same gravitas though, Ed mused with a satisfied smile. The Scarecrow’s actions weren’t as flourished, they were dulled to a sinister foreboding which was eerily increased thanks to the static compromised tape.

 

“You want me to figure out who he is.”

 

“That would be greatly appreciated. I do have the rest of the gallery to update and you know as well as I that they don’t do well to change.”

 

“What did you expect, Oswald. They’re basically a bunch of glorified toddlers vying for attention.” Oswald quirked a brow at that statement, the silent dig didn’t go unnoticed to Ed but in favour of a peaceful compromise, Ed tossed the remote on Oswald’s desk and stepped forward into his personal space with a smirk. “Are you planning on paying me, Oswald?”

 

“Would your usual fee suffice?” Oswald asked as he ran his hands up Ed’s sides, his fingers pressed firmly before trailing back down to tease the waistband of Ed’s pants. A satisfied shiver zapped through Ed’s body forcing the hairs on the nape of his neck to tingle and before he could open his mouth to answer Oswald’s question, he was tugged down by his purple tie and kissed thoroughly. After a few curls of their tongues Ed almost forgot the reason he was there, he was more interested in losing himself to Oswald’s touch. 

 

A need to breathe forced Ed to draw back with flushed cheeks. “Yeah. That will suffice,” he said with a squeak. Even after spending several years with Oswald, his mind could still be wiped with a simple kiss. So much for gravitas. Ed was rewired two seconds after their lips met.

 

“Thank you, Edward.” Oswald lifted his hands and began to right Ed’s clothes, refolding his collar and straightening his tie before smoothing out the fabric of his green jacket. His firm hands lingering more than necessary… not that Ed was complaining. “But please, keep yourself safe. This is unlike anything we have dealt with before.” Oswald moved to cupped Ed’s heated cheek before continuing, “I would hate to lose you because overconfidence clouded your mind.”

 

Placing his hand over Oswald’s, Ed leant into the touch with his eyes closed and savoured the moment. “I’ll do my best.”

 

~~~

 

A week later Ed had exhausted almost all avenues available to him. He had investigated every sighting of The Scarecrow, hacked into the GCPD database several times  _ much to their complaint _ and try as he might to predict the masked villains next movements, he failed. Throwing his head down on his desk, Ed groaned and shoved the paperwork onto the floor. He hated not knowing who this new man was, and what more, Oswald was getting particularly agitated at the lack of progress. 

 

“Ed?” 

 

“Speak of the devil and he shall arrive,” Ed uttered as lifted his head and adjusted his lenses before peering at his partner. Oswald held two  _ very full  _ glasses of wine in his hands. With greedy, outstretched hands, Ed accepted one and swallowed down its contents in a few mere sips which he finished off with a sigh. 

 

“Nothing new to report I gather?”

 

“If there was something new to report, don’t you think I would have told you by now.” Oswald frowned at his outburst but didn’t make a comment. Ed wasn’t sure if he was thankful for that or not. Handing his empty glass to Oswald, Ed leant back in his chair and ran a hand through his tousled locks. “I have gone over every scrap of evidence countless times and I’ve turned up next to nothing. It’s  _ infuriating _ .”

 

Oswald sat down on the edge of Ed’s desk and put their cups to the side in favour for drawing Ed into a hug. “Tell me what you’ve found. If you get it out of that mind of yours, perhaps you’ll notice something you overlooked.” Ed lifted his head and scowled at his partner before giving into his tender touches, allowing them to ease the coiled tension in his body. Oswald's firm hands and strong fingers carded through his hair and down his back, scooting his chair in a little closer, Ed placed his head in Oswald’s lap and waited for him to continue before he began to speak again.

 

“Nineteen days ago Gotham saw its first definitive sighting of Scarecrow, before that he was merely whispers spoken about by shadows. His first victim was a 29 year old man who died within mere moments after exposure to the gas. It appears as though Scarecrow was finessing his toxin as the next few targets, like your _ Monroe _ , survived their encounter.” 

 

Oswald tugged at the strands of Ed’s hair drawing forth a gasp, before continuing on with his gentle petting. “Tell me about the toxin.” 

 

“There’s not much to discover on that front either,” Ed said with a huff as he nuzzled into Oswald’s thigh. “It’s deadly, obviously we know that much, and it somehow has garnered the ability to show people their worst fears sending them almost insane.”

 

If Ed wasn't so frustrated he might have been intrigued by the spectacular mind that produced such a formidable substance. It wasn't often Gotham produced  _ smart  _ villains.

 

“Hmm. Do you have any inkling as to where it was created? If something as complex as this exists then surely the person behind it would have the aptitude and the experience to-”

 

Ed gasped as he bolted into an upright position. “The experience to compound and create it in the first place. He’d have to be a scientist or at least have past history in the field. This wasn’t something that could be concocted by accident, it was careful and precise.” Ed reached down and gathered his papers off the floor, spreading them out on the desk beside Oswald. “So a scientist…” he mused as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, eyeing the files before him, “well Gotham is not in short supply of those… but an  _ evil _ scientist. This city gets more interesting by the day.”

 

Ed worked tirelessly for the next few hours, shifting over every scrap of information till Oswald tapped him on the shoulder, drawing forth a small shriek from Ed’s throat. “I’m glad you find this so funny, Oswald.”

 

“It’s more than funny, Edward,” Oswald said with a fond laugh as he hopped off the desk. “You get so focused that you forget the world around you. It's a good thing I love watching you work or I would have been incredibly bored.” Oswald pressed a kiss to the top of Ed's head before shuffling off only to pause as he reached the doorway. 

 

“I'm heading to bed, is there any chance you'll be joining me shortly?”

 

Ed eyed his notes as he worried on his bottom lip between his teeth before flicking his gaze to Oswald.

 

“I didn't think so. Goodnight Edward, don't work too hard.”

 

“Sleep well, Oswald,” Ed called as he cracked his knuckles, preparing himself for another long night.  _ I will find out who you are Scarecrow. You can’t hide from me. _

 

~~~

 

Two days later Ed strolled into the office of one Dr. Jonathan Crane. It was homely as far as psychologist offices went. The room was filled with various warm brown tones, fairly neutral but heavily textural and a soft stream of light which wove its way through meshed curtains. It was almost comforting, but Ed garnered that this was the whole point. Crane created a soft space where people could relax and open up, although Ed had no intention of doing so.

 

“So Mr. Nashton, how can I help you?”

 

Ed cursed himself for using the last name  _ Nashton _ on a whim when he made the appointment. It was a split second decision, he hadn't expected Crane to answer the phone after a single ring, so he was forced to think on the spot. To anyone be that a psychiatrist or a villain, a name held power and Ed would rather keep his own safe. He wasn’t too happy when the first one that came to mind was the very one that tied him back to his father but it served it’s purpose as now he could investigate the man before him.

 

“You’re the doctor, aren’t you…  _ doctor? _ ” Ed shook Crane’s hand, taking notice of his grip before extracting himself to take up the plush sofa in the corner of the room. With his lanky legs propped up on the armrest, Ed laid down, settling himself before peering out the corner of his eye as he waited for a response. This better be the right man, the runabout was getting exhausting.

 

“I am. I’ve been a doctor for several years now, focusing predominantly on psychology,” Crane said as placed himself in an armchair, settling his notepad in his lap.

 

“Just psychology?” Ed asked with a raised brow as he rolled onto his side.  _ You're a liar, Dr. Crane.  _ “You see, I am a man of science myself but I prefer the pursuits that venture away from the mind and one's psyche.”

 

Crane sat silently for a few moments, oddly still too. The only noise to be found was in the small ticks sounding from the wall mounted clock alternating with the tapping of the doctor’s pen. Ed held his stare, not relenting for a second. He had answers to gather and one way or another, Crane was going to spill them all.

 

“Are you worried about what there is to be found inside your head, Mr. Nashton?”

 

Ed squeezed his eyes shut at the utterance of  _ that  _ name again. He became Edward Nygma to escape from his past and a lapse in judgement saw him being drawn back without warning. “Call me, Edward,” Ed said through clenched teeth before forcing himself to relax, he wouldn't get the answers he seeked if he let Crane get in his his head. “You never answered my question, Dr. Crane.”

 

“Nor am I obligated to  _ Mr. Nashton. _ I would also like to point out that you ignored mine too.”

 

Shaking his head with a huff of laughter on his tongue, Ed sat up and placed his heels on the coffee table, taking in the slight narrowing of Crane’s eyes.  _ I'm not moving. Deal with it _ . “The mind holds many secrets,” Ed began as he pulled a emerald green handkerchief from his pocket. “I like secrets you see. Not too dissimilar from a name, a secret holds power.” Standing, Ed fluffed the handkerchief before stuffing it inside his clenched fist, following actions he perfected earlier for this very moment.

 

“Would you like to know a secret, doctor?” Crane didn’t answer, he sat silently with his ankles crossed and blinked in Ed’s direction.  _ Well you’re no fun. _ With a smirk, Ed decided forgo his long winded spiel in favour for trying another tactic, one more in tune with his particular interests. 

 

_ “You won’t find this man, _

_ In a field of cattle herds. _

_ Instead he’ll be in a cornfield, _

_ Keeping away the birds” _

 

Ed trailed off with flourished movements and from his green handkerchief he dropped a piece of straw and a single crow’s feather into Crane’s lap. A boisterous laugh came unbidden when the doctor shot to his feet and tossed his notebook to the side. Ed clapped and bounced on his toes as the man closed the distance between them in three strides.

 

“Riddler!”

 

“ _ Scarecrow _ . Nice to finally meet you.” Ed bowed and lifted with an amused brow. Finally he had found his man, the one he spent almost two weeks searching for. “I have to commend you on covering your tracks, you weren’t easy to find.”

 

“And how  _ did  _ you find me?” Crane hissed through his scowl.

 

Plucking up the feather, Ed blew it in the Scarecrow’s direction, tilting his head in amusement when it was snatched from the air and tossed to the side. “Let’s just say I had help from a little bird.”

 

“And did this bird tell you what he wanted?”

 

“Perhaps,” Ed shrugged as he rubbed his hands together. This was much too exciting, not many people could simultaneously evade him and intrigue him at the same time and yet Crane had done just that. There was no getting away now, Ed had him right where he wanted him. “I like you, Crane. I've studied your work quite a bit over the past week or so. You have a genius mind, not too dissimilar from my own but I find myself questioning, why fear?”

 

“Why riddles?” Crane rebutted as he fiddled with his sleeves. “If you expect me to answer your questions, the least you can do is reciprocate.”

 

“Touché.” Ed tapped his chin as he strolled around Crane’s office, peering inside his cupboards and drawers. He wasn’t on the lookout for anything in particular, he just wanted to rile up the other man and this was the easiest way to do it. “I like to test people. Test their wits and smarts and discover what makes them tick. People's mind's are like a puzzle you see, and each piece carefully laid in place but what happens when you scramble it in a pattern they no not? How do they respond?” Ed closed the draw on Crane’s desk before lifting a finger to tap his temple. “Once you figure them out, it is all too easy to outsmart them and make them feel inferior.”

 

“You like to feel superior,” Crane said with an eerie smile forcing Ed to bite back an ‘ _ I am superior’ _ remark in favour for raising a brow as the doctor stepped forward. “Have problems in your childhood, did you? Were you put in your place all too often forcing you to develop this  _ obvious _ complex?”

 

Ed grit his jaw and flared his nostrils as he breathed heavily. “I’m not the only one who had childhood problems,  _ Crane _ . Now… I believe  _ you _ have a question to answer.”

 

“I study fear for a similar reason you do, to test how the mind copes under the strain,” Crane said in a nonchalant tone. Although seemingly bored, Ed had taken notice of the way his eyes lit up as he began to speak. “Fear can be intoxicating...  _ if _ you can control it. It can also be quite maddening too.”

 

“Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil,” Ed quoted with a flourish of his hand. 

 

“Aristotle. Clever.”

 

“Thank you!”

 

The two men spoke for a few moments more, swapping questions and small jests back and forth as they circled each other, both working to get a clear read on the man before them. It was surprisingly an enjoyable time until Crane cut their banter short.

 

“Sorry Edward, nice chat and all but I can’t have you blabbing about my identity to the criminal underworld. I’m not interested in joining you and your  _ bird  _ or anyone else. I am The Scarecrow and I stand alone”

 

Ed’s retort died on his tongue when a gas sprayed him in the face, seeping out from the inside of the other man’s sleeve. “C-CRANE! What is the mean o-of this?” he spluttered. In his haste to get away from the substance, Ed tripped over the coffee table and landed in a tangled heap of limbs on the floor. 

 

“I am interested in seeing how someone of your calibre reacts to my toxin. You see before you I have experimented on only the simplest of minds. Comparison is key in any scientific pursuit don’t you agree,  _ Mr. Nashton _ ?”

 

Ed coughed forcefully as he tried to expel the gas from his system. It was too little avail, his heart was already beginning to pick up in speed and his vision began to swirl and blur as the toxin coursed its way through his body. There was only one sound Ed could hear as his vision began to darken, one name he wished he never had to hear again. 

 

Mr. Nashton.


	2. A Night to Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is polar opposite to the first chapter so please heed the tags. If you feel like I missed out on anything, feel free to let me know in the comments.
> 
> Sorry about the wait, happy (or not so happy) reading!

_ Mr. Nashton… _ .

 

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, hoping to dislodge the words. He was not that person any more...  _ not that person _ . That man was dead, buried in his past with his memories.  _ Shut up, shut up. _

 

“Mr. Nashton, can you hear me?”

 

Ed startled in surprise at the sound of a softer voice. He opened his eyes, balking at the sight of his younger self in the hospital bed. Little Edward Nashton, red eyed and bruised in colourful pigments as he cradled his broken arm. The nurse continued to try and grab his attention but the child was withdrawn, his blank, unfocused eyes stared through the bed down to the Earth’s core as he locked himself inside the only place that would keep him safe. 

 

"Let me through. I'm here for my son."

 

That drew a reaction from the child, his eyes lifted and watered as they connected with Ed's own and they shared a pained look of recognition. They knew what was coming, of the horror awaiting them as soon as the hospital was out of sight. This transgression wouldn't be forgiven lightly.

 

"He's coming with me. I am his father and I have more than enough authority to discharge him from your care and take him to a doctor's of my choosing."

 

A cold sweat ran down Ed's back as his father's voice wove through the corridor, steadily growing louder. The loophole had been used more times than Ed could remember, more times than he cared to admit because with each occurrence, Ed's  _ punishments _ grew in severity. Ed wanted to rush around the corner and scream at the nurses, to beg them not to let this man anywhere near any version of himself but his feet were bolted to the ground and his tongue lead in his mouth. There would be no other doctors, no care or support, it would be the same familial suffering. Monster's didn't have it in their heart to care for another. They didn't even have a heart. They were an empty suit made out of flesh and bone.

 

Sooner than he would have liked, Ed laid eyes on his father. He had to bite back the rising bile in his throat as the burly man, with his thick-set neck, trained rage-filled eyes on the child in the bed and clapped a hand down on his shoulder.  _ I can't let this happen! _ Pushing his way through his terror, Ed strode forward as the man said he was taking his younger self home but before he could stop him those dark brown eyes... the same one's Ed shared, met his own.

 

Ed froze with his hand outstretched. His heart thumped painfully in his chest and his breath scraped its way down his constricted throat as his father stepped towards him. His brief stint of bravery was erased when bruising fingers wrapped around his wrist, constricting tightly.

 

"We're leaving now, Edward, and you're coming with me."

 

There was no arguing with that statement, Ed knew this but it didn't stop him from trying to pull his wrist free, whimpering as he was dragged out of the room. Throwing his head over his shoulder, Ed was shocked to realise that his younger counterpart was no longer there.  _ Where did he go? _ With his feet stumbling beneath him, he peered around for the child and soon found him standing at his side. 

 

"I'm s-sorry," young Edward Nashton cried before fading away leaving Ed alone with his father.  _ Not again. This can't be happening again. _ Ed's breath came out in short fast pants as he approached the doors to the exit faster than he would have liked. There was so serenity to be found out there, just a run down car and a man who would either terrorise him for hours to come or lock him in seclusion. As the blinding light of the outside world washed over him, Ed released a heart wrenching scream.

  
  


~~~

 

The white blanket cleared and for a second Ed felt relief as he cradled his wrist against his chest.  _ It was just a dream— no, a nightmare, but it's over now. It's over. _

 

His head felt muddled, Ed was unable to find the clarity he was accustomed to but that was normal after an episode. Soon enough he'd feel Oswald's arms wrap around him then he would truly relax. Several moments passed by and Ed's skin began to prickle with worry. _W_ _ here was he? _

 

Blinking his eyes to clear his vision, Ed curled in on himself when he came face to face with the morphing mask of the Scarecrow. Black hollowed eyes, red striated mouth and a warm rancid breath forced Ed further into the edge of the couch in hopes that it would swallow him whole and save him from his reality. The beast laughed in his face taking too much enjoyment at the visceral reaction, the distorted sound burned Ed's skin and settled in the marrow of his bones.

 

“Try not to make so much noise, Edward. We wouldn't want to draw any unwanted attention now would we?” the monster said with another dark chuckle forcing Ed swallowed down a whimper. He needed to get out of here. This was a mistake. Oswald was right, his overconfidence was his undoing. He was going to get himself killed.

 

Shooting his hands out, Ed shoved Scarecrow away from him as he scrambled to his feet and made for the door. Although he could feel the gas pulling him back under, clouding his vision with nightmares of his past, it didn’t stop him from moving forward. Anywhere was better than at that monster's feet.

 

~~~

 

_ “Edward.” _

 

“Edward!”

 

“Edward,  _ get _ in there and shut up. If I hear a peep out of you,  _ boy _ , so help me…” 

 

Ed nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to appear as docile and as meek as possible. His father didn't need to finish his threat, it had been beaten into his skin often enough to leave a lasting reminder.  _ Be quiet and stay safe. _ Even his very breath was controlled to make the least amount of noise.  _ Don’t anger him. Don’t anger him. _ His bedroom door was slammed closed forcing a jolt to run up Ed's spine. He knew it was coming but the sound still sent his heart racing. Why was he cursed to have such a horrible man as a father when all the other kids had good parents that doted on them? His father's only sign of affection was one Ed wished he never had to experience again. There was no tender hugs or loving words, only abuse.

 

Ed opened his watering eyes and stared down at his small hands which wouldn't stop shaking.  _ Why am I never good enough for you, father? _ Ed knew he should probably get started on his homework for the week however with his brewing terror he gathered he likely wouldn't be able to focus so instead he opted for climbing into bed and forgetting the horrid day.

 

As Ed turned around he crashed into a chair lying in the centre of the room, sending it toppling to the ground.  _ That's not supposed to be there, it wasn't there before.  _ A small sob escaped his throat as he scurried to pick it up. With shaking hands Ed slide it back into place beneath the small desk in the corner of the room with hopes that his father didn't hear the crash over the sound of the blaring television.

 

Ed realised his prayers fell on deaf ears when he heard his father's heavy footsteps sound down the hall. Each stomp sent unrestrained shudders threw his body and forced whimpers out of his throat. His eyes flicked to the closet and the narrow space beneath his bed. Hiding wouldn't help, it would  _ only _ make this infinitely worse. His only option was to stand there and not react in hopes his father would be dissuaded from continuing.

 

The door was tossed open and Ed's bottom lip quivered as a meaty hand wrapped around the back of his neck, forcing him to look up into the dirt brown eyes of his father. He could see his reflection, the reflection of a terrified child swirling in their depths.

 

"I warned you boy, and you know what happens when you are too  _ stupid  _ to follow such simple tasks,” Ed’s father hissed, sprinkling a spray of spit over his face that was tinged with the pungent scent of alcohol.

 

An anguished cry rips free from Ed's core when, without warning, he was tossed across the room into the wall. The impact forced a blanket of darkness down upon him and he welcomed it. 

 

~~~

 

When Ed came to, he found himself looking up at a lamppost with the night sky as its background.  _ How is it dark already? _ His head was pounding and his nose throbbed but for the first time ever Ed felt somewhat thankful for his clumsy nature as it had saved him from the hands of his father. 

 

Scrambling upright, Ed swayed with more motion than a rocking boat victim to brutal seas. He wrapped an arm around the post for support till his prickling vision cleared and as it did, it took with it the milky haze that clouded his mind. There was only one recurring thought that sounded through the hushed whispers deep within Ed's head.  _ Oswald _ . He needed to find Oswald. 

 

With his partner in mind, Ed began running down the unfamiliar street, tossing his head back and forth as he peered around for a point of direction, something that would lead him home. The roads were similar to what he was accustomed to, yet slightly different, it was enough to draw several confused glances from Ed as he was sure he memorised almost every street in the city. However the longer he ran the more unsettled he began to feel.  _ Where am I? _

 

As Ed rushed around a corner, he lifted a hand to scratch at his neck attempting to claw away the constricting feeling beneath his skin. What if he was allergic to the toxin, did Crane think about that? What if he didn't make it back to Oswald? What if he died? Ed clutched his chest as he continued to run. He didn’t want to think about Oswald’s face when one of his random lackeys relayed that Ed's body has been found in an alley. He didn't want to think about how much Oswald would cry and how heartbroken he’d be. He didn’t want to think about it but he couldn't shake the thought. Hot tears streamed down Ed’s face, blurring his vision. He promised Oswald that he would be safe, that he’d be careful and smart. He failed. He failed him  _ again  _ and now Oswald might end up alone all because of a careless mistake.

 

Slapping his cheeks to free himself from spiralling thoughts, Ed continued, eyes trained forward in an attempt to ignore the way the walls, with their brick hands, reached out for him.  _ It’s not real, it’s not real. _

 

“ _ Edward, _ ” Crane, no  _ Scarecrow  _ drawled. 

 

Ed threw his head over his shoulder as he tried to lay eyes on the man. He found  _ nothing, _ only a detached voice which licked over Ed's skin whispering frightful details of what was to come. Chains, nooses, evisceration were the milder threats. The deeper, frightful ones were pulled forth from every horrid dream Ed had ever experienced.

 

_ Why did I ever decide to seek out Jonathan Crane? _

 

Tripping over his feet as he made a left turn, Ed threw himself against the wall forgetting all about the bricked hands until they started grabbing at him. 

 

The first one encircled his throat, cutting off his breath and as Ed’s fingers clawed at it in a rushed attempt to remove it from his person, two more hands formed and took hold of his ankles. The fourth and fifth ones reefed back Ed's arms rendering him completely immobilized. 

 

Ed hissed out a growl and jutted his body forward, fighting to break free however the hands were inescapable. The jagged, uneven surface of each finger clung tighter tearing through the layers of his skin as though they were the sharp teeth of a lioness and he was nothing but a weak gazelle. The more he struggled the harder they tugged until he was drawn inside the wall itself and sealed away.

 

Ed screamed.

 

The fall was both endless and finite, there was no wind, no light, no gravity. Nothing to give Ed any semblance of direction. 

 

No matter how desperately he begged for help, he was ignored; left alone to swim, spill and topple until the very moment he crashed into the pavement face first, knocking every molecule of air from his body.

 

Coughing through a groan of pain Ed flopped onto his back. His body ached, from the tips of his hair, down to the bottoms of his feet. The worst of the damage was centered around his trachea which felt like had been crushed by a truck.  _ When will this nightmare end?  _ Ed laid there for a moment, tears rolling down his cheeks and soon enough the wind dried them on his cheeks.

 

Ed’s eyes snapped open when he took notice of the red glow behind his lids. He was thankful for the return of the light, so thankful but it’s luminescence detailed only severe destruction. Buildings that once towered into the sky now stood at half height, ripped in half with windows busted and others boarded. To Ed it appeared as though he was witnessing the aftermath of a horrific war.

 

_ I need to go home. I need to find, Oswald. _

 

Through slits Ed peered around and discovered that he was somehow back on the same road, only this time the Scarecrow had returned, no longer embodying faceless whispers. The masked villain was quickly advanced on him with outstretched hands and fingers that danced as they pulled the shadows forward in a silent song.

 

_ Run. _ That was Ed’s first instinct. He wasn’t a fighter, he was too thin, too weak, too powerless to stand up to anyone physically and although his aptitude lie in his mind, that was failing him too. So Ed did the only thing he could do, he jumped to his feet and scurried down the street, following the light as he worked to create a plan to stop the monster stalking him. 

 

Monsters were created to be slain, that was what every story dictated. Kill the monster, save the day, save  _ himself _ . 

 

Ed skirted around a corner but found himself on the  _ exact  _ same street. _ Why does this keep happening? _ If running didn’t help, maybe hiding will.

 

“Hiding won't help you.”

 

_ Had it ever,  _ Ed thought. He had tried to hide from his father so many times and every attempt failed. He needed to be smarter about this, but in order to do so he had to create distance. Ed’s feet slapped the pavement as he hurtled down the road, his heart racketed in his chest beating faster than he had ever felt before. He couldn't stop, stopping meant certain death, running was his only option. Ed flung his head over his shoulder looking for the creature hunting him but all he saw was a red glowing smile, the rest of the Scarecrow was immersed in the advancing shadows, hidden amongst whispering tendrils that lashed out like whips.

 

Ed ducked his head as he turned into a nearby alley, following it through to another. Plastering himself behind a dumpster, he watched the shadows rise and topple the surrounding buildings as the screams in his ears and voices in his head, grew with severity the longer he stayed in position.

 

_ Run. RUN. He's going to find you. RUN! _

 

“I can’t,” Ed whined through his laboured breath. He couldn’t breathe, he felt like those hands were back around his throat squeezing tightly, stealing his very life. Running wasn’t getting him anywhere.

 

“Oswald,” Ed whispered into his palms. Oswald would know what to do, he’d help him. 

 

_ No one will help you, you're alone and well beyond saving.  _

 

“I’m not. I have someone that loves me.”

 

A hand landed on Ed’s shoulder causing him to drawback with a flinch when the Scarecrow’s cavernous eyes bore down on him. "Get off, don't touch me." He thought he was alone, he  _ should  _ have been alone.  _ How did he find me so quickly?  _ Ed's sobbed as he drew in on himself waiting for his death. He wasn't fast enough, he was  _ never _ fast enough.

 

"I told you that running was futile, I will  _ always  _ find you." The voice was his father's but the face was the monster's. Ugly and malformed, continually shifting with each rancid breath.  _ Kill the monster, save yourself. _ Ed flicked open a switchblade, he didn’t know where he had pulled it from but it mattered little as he now had the means to save himself. 

 

Lunging forward with a growl, Ed rammed the knife into the stomach of the Scarecrow, twisting it in the depths of his guts, plunging back and forth until he was certain the beast would die, then he repeated his actions. Pained howls rang so sharply Ed was sure his ears were bleeding and when the screams stopped, he took his first clear breath as the monster collapsed in a dying heap. 

 

“I did it? I did it! I'm _safe?_ ”

 

Running a blood coated hand over his face, Ed didn't know whether to laugh or cry. His emotions were uncontrollable, running haywire as they waged wars inside of him however through the muddling haze Ed could pinpoint one rising feeling.  _ Elation. _ His battle was over. He killed the monster. He could go home.

 

"Think  _ again _ ."

 

Ed gasped and his head thudded painfully as he peered around for the source of the noise. "Y-you... YOU'RE DEAD!" he shouted at the voice in the wind... or were they in his head? "I killed you so _ leave me alone. _ "

 

"You think you killed  _ me _ ? Look again, Edward. Look at what you have done."

 

Terror squeezed at Ed's heart as he spun on his heel to peer at the remains of the monster, only it wasn't the monster at all.

 

The switchblade clanged as connected with the ground.

 

“No! no no no no no.” Ed dropped to his knees and placed his hands on Oswald's stomach, desperately trying to stop the bleeding, to put back what was lost.  _ This isn't real, this can't be real. _ His eyes watered and spilled tears down his cheeks. “What have I done?”

 

Leaning over his partner, Ed called his name, each utterance grew with intensity when Oswald failed to respond. 

 

_ You're the monster, Ed. You killed your best friend and lover.. again. _

 

"O-Oswald, wake up,  _ please  _ wake up. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." 

 

Maybe the voices were right, perhaps he  _ was  _ a monster. Ed had hurt Oswald, too lost in his terror, too ready to attack that he failed to make sure that he wasn’t hallucinating. He buried his face in Oswald's chest and cried. "This... I never wanted this to happen, please come back. I love you, Oswald. D-don't leave me."

 

"E-Edward?"

 

Ed bolted up with a relieved sob at the sound of his partner’s voice, but it shifted to despair as he took in the pale pasty complexion of a man who once radiated such vibrancy.  Little whines escaped Ed’s throat and both his eyes and nose ran like faucets. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the steady flow of blood, it continued to seep out between splayed shaking fingers. Oswald was going to die here in this alley, Oswald was going to die because of him. "I didn't... I'm sorry, you have to know that I didn't mean for this to happen."

 

The loving eyes of his partner, his beautiful viridescent eyes began to cloud as death drew him away. “No no Oswald, please stay with me.” Ed cupped his cheeks, bloodied hands leaving striking scarlet smudges all over Oswald’s alabaster skin as he attempted to hold onto the last thread of his life. Why would life put them on such a long winded path of destruction and loss, only to give them the smallest window of happiness together before shattering it into pieces? How could anything be so cruel? 

 

Ed dropped his forehead to Oswald’s and shared with him his last breath. It was the faintest of whispers upon his lips, never to speak again.

 

“This is all my fault. If only I...I—”

 

“Yes. It is your fault.” 

 

Ed fell to his rear, mouth agape at the sound of Oswald’s hollow demonic voice.

 

_ No, not like this.  _

 

He sat stationary, unsure of what to do until Oswald’s head flopped to the side and fixed him a deathly stare. Eyes widening Ed scurried back, forcing down his rising bile when Oswald… no his corpse staggered to his feet.

 

“You are going to die alone, Ed, for who is there left to remember you now. I was all you had and you killed me.”

 

“O-Oswald,  _ please,  _ you have to believe me. I didn’t—”

 

“But you did.” Chin to chest, Ed shook his head back and forth, unable to meet the milky eyes of his lover. Poisonous words invaded his body, tearing ribbons of his mind. Ed was unable to do little more than listen, to cop the punishment of his crime. “You  _ killed _ me, this is where fate has lead us. This is the way it was  _ always _ meant to be.”

 

Hands threading through his hair, Ed tugged at the strands before clawing his nails down his face in an attempt to distract himself.

 

_ You know he speaks truths. You tried to kill him before and reveled in the notion of him dead by your hands. _

 

“I- I don’t want this. I don’t...I don’t.”

 

“You  _ do _ ,” Oswald shouted as he reefed Ed’s head back. The action was all too similar to the treatment Ed received from his father. In his scattered mind he couldn’t separate the two men. He sobbed when a fist met his face sending his glasses flying, leaving him unguarded. He didn’t try and protect himself, he couldn’t if he wanted too. He was paralyzed under Oswald’s grip, forced to suffer the hits and hissed curses with blood in his mouth and tears in his eyes.

 

“O-Oswald.” Ed’s heart ached painfully as he was forced to witness his partner morph into his childhood demon. Two contrasting men culminating is one nightmarish being. The man he loved becoming the thing he once feared the most. Ed knew that  _ his _ Oswald would never say those things, he wouldn’t hurt him. They had passed that point in their lives, no longer seeking each other's destruction but a holistic life together. However, no matter how often he repeated that to himself, it didn’t alter his reality. 

 

Ed lost count of the hits after seventeen.

 

Tossed to the ground he curled himself into a ball, wrapping his arms over his head as if the protective pose would keep him safe. It didn’t erase the voices in his head nor the feeling of claws slicing through his skin as they dug towards his heart.

 

_ You’re a monster, a psychopath. _

 

“Stop it. I’m n-not.”

 

_ You’re an ungrateful child. _

 

“Please stop.”

 

_ You are nothing! You won’t even be remembered. _

 

“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”

 

Ed screamed. He screamed to shut out the voices in his head. He screamed through the pain in his chest. He screamed until his throat felt like it was on fire before taking another breath to continue the endless cycle.

 

~~~

 

“Edward?”

 

Ed groaned and smacked at the hand carding through his hair. He wasn’t ready to wake up, he felt half dead and every joint ached but it was nothing compared to the throbbing in his head. “Just a little more,” he croaked as he buried his face in the pillows.

 

Eyes snapping open, Ed startled in disbelief when a solid lump landed on him.  _ “Oswald?” _ he whispered as he gazed down at the man mumbling incoherently against his chest. Oswald was supposed to be dead. Oswald he… Ed shoved him off his body and scampered to the opposite side of the room, holding his arms out before him.

 

“You- you’re... I  _ killed  _ you.” Their tear filled gazes connected as Oswald clambered off the bed, the action sending flashes of past events through Ed’s mind. He tensed and backed further into the wall, marking the exits, eyes flicking sporadically for a weapon. 

 

“Oh Edward, you  _ didn’t _ . I’m here, I’m alive,” Oswald said softly, holding his position. “Everything is going to be okay now.”

 

“No, y-you... it’s not. You hate me.” Ed slid to the floor with his hands in his hair, ripping at the strands as his mind struggled to catch up with recent events. Although his eyes were no longer swollen shut, he could still feel the ghost of his attack etched under his skin. Completely and utterly unforgettable.

 

Oswald dropped to the ground, mirroring Ed’s movements. Inch by inch he crept closer, albeit rather slowly and whilst Ed didn’t outwardly fight the action he was inwardly preparing himself to flee should he find himself caught under his fists again.

 

“I could  _ never _ hate you, Edward. You mean everything to me.”

 

Ed laughed and Oswald recoiled with shock, honestly Ed couldn’t believe it himself. He should be a sobbing mess however here he was chuckling uncontrollably. Mind broken, emotions erratic. A tingle in his nose gave way to the flood of tears and Ed’s broken laughs turned into sobs. Arms dropping, he dove forward, tackling Oswald to the floor as he buried his face in the fabric of his sleep clothes. 

 

“I’m sorry, Oswald… I didn’t-”

 

“Shh Ed, I have you.” Oswald’s hands shifted through Ed’s hair, soothing the cries with comforting touches. There was no demand to stop the tears, no order to suck it up and be a man. Oswald was alive, Oswald was himself, Oswald would never hurt him. 

 

Ed clung tighter to his lifeline, to the man who was his home, his guiding light and sobbed, promising never to be so foolish again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, poor Ed. He really shouldn't have messed with Crane, that was a bad idea. 
> 
> I am thinking about writing more future fic/comic verse stuff when the ideas come to me. The first half of the fic was a lot of fun to do, I didn't stop laughing so that is definitely something I would like to explore again.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! 
> 
> [riddlerbird.tumblr.com](url)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I stand by the "banter could be seen as flirting" tag because Ed was definitely flirting with Jonathan. Chapter two will be posted in a few days, it's almost finished, it just needs a little fleshing out. I do hope you enjoyed the beginning of this fic, I had a lot of fun writing it. Hardly ever stopped laughing!
> 
> [riddlerbird.tumblr.com](url)


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